Pickup is in twelve minutes and something in the last call did not sound right. Alcohol problems change the risk level of ordinary tasks: driving, overnight care, promises made at noon and forgotten by dinner. You can care about the other parent as a person and still set firm limits for your child.
Lead with safety. If someone is in immediate danger, call local emergency services. Get advice from a qualified local professional about unsafe pickups, your order and emergency options. Plan for trusted alternate adults and clear written messages when appropriate. Do not debate in the driveway if things feel unsafe.
Keep communication narrow and documented. Times, locations, child needs. Skip diagnosing anyone by text. You are coordinating care, not running an intervention in a messaging app.
Kids should not police anyone's drinking or be asked to report. They should know who to call if they feel unsafe.
When the other home is unpredictable, your consistency matters more. Steady bedtime. Steady meals. Steady tone. You cannot control their house. You can make yours a landing place.
Seek support for yourself through friends, counseling, recovery-family resources. You do not have to carry this alone.
Shared calendars and written confirmations reduce ambiguity when emotions are charged. Nothing in a planning tool replaces professional or legal guidance when safety is at stake. This is not legal advice.
Boundaries may be part of a safety plan. They cannot guarantee safety or replace professional help.
If you face threats or abuse, consider contacting a domestic violence advocate from a safe device. In immediate danger, call local emergency services. A shared app cannot replace individual safety planning.